Ω


I still wonder if things would be different had it happened another way. And then I’ve realized even if there were 10,000 possibilities, in the end it would have ended the same anyway. I tried to think of the things that made me happy, but I can’t really recall because it was short lived. The only thing remaining is an empty void in my soul. It is not that I am purposely trying to forget, but everything is gradually fading away.

Maybe with time I will be able to fill that emptiness. ~ Numb

 



today is unlike other days


Today, I searched frantically in my bag only to realize that I didn’t have enough money to pay my busfare, but the bus was already moving already. I’m sick, wearing a surgical mask, I couldn’t breathe, and my throat was killing me; I wanted to breakdown. But today unlike other days, it was different. In my most vulnerable state, a guy handed me $4. I politely declined and searched my penniless bag again to avoid embarrassment. He tells me “Please, take it.”  I asked him if he would give me his cellphone number so that I could pay him back. I sincerely wanted to pay him back. He declined and said “It’s ok, don’t worry about.” I thanked him, and as I did my eyes started to well up and I realized I was tearing behind my surgical mask. It wasn’t the value of the $4, but his kindness that moved me. That was the nicest thing a stranger had ever done for me. There are still kind people in this world. I will be sure to pay it forward, thank you.



epic stories 1


Went out with an old friend tonight, and was told the most awesome story of the year! (shortened)

Friend: …then we went clubbing and bought Erock a Flaming Lamborghini. Man! I thought he could take his alcohol, but he puked all over me. I’ve never had someone else’s puke in my mouth before. It was so gross!! And sour too!!!!!!
Me*Laughed till I died*



Δlife→leave to move on


It’s been two years since leaving school, and I don’t think I’ve made a lot of progress. I never thought I’d be saying this, but I sure miss school. Not school in general, but people who went through the same stress and frustration that I went through. Now, I feel everything is moving forwards while I am moving back. I thought I was supposed to be extremely happy, I guess I was too naive in my thinking to think I can depend on_____. I’ve taken my chances, my only regret was being too honest. Time to go! Time waits for no one!=]



subway fail 2


Sometime ago, my coworker and I were standing on the platform of Sheung Wan station after work. We were discussing about exotic animals in Cantonese, and then somehow trailed onto the topic of chinchillas. To my surprise, my coworker had never known what a chinchilla looked like. So there I was trying to explain to her that it was like a hybrid of a rabbit, mixed with a mouse, with a pom pom tail and I said specifically: It was in Ghibli’s Totoro. There was a “long mao” (龍猫)!

Then all of a sudden, some Korean dude in front of us with a lethargy look on his face and messy hair (Ashlotté: Not that Koreans are not good-looking, it’s just this guy) turned around and said to us in English: Chinchillas are not called “long mao” (龍猫), trust me. And then closed his eyes; falling into a deep coma from his lethargy. I paused for a moment so that this thought: WTF? You have no grounds to stand on for me to ‘trust’ you, buddy. Could register through my head. I said to him: Are you sure? I looked at him cockeyed. Cuz I’m pretty sure I’m right. (Ashlotté: WTF? Nobody makes a fool of me!). At that point in time, I really didn’t think he was moving nor breathing for that matter. And so o preserve our dignity, and not let the other nosy passengers listening in on us think we were associated with him in anyway, we migrated slowly but steadily, far far away.

Not wanting to feel defeated, I went online and googled up Totoro, Chinchilla, 龍猫, and even long mao. Eventually in the end, even google was on my side…I found pics of chinchillas under龍猫’s images. I knew I was right…FUCK YOU, punk ass bitch who tried to pwn me. Long mao IS a chinchilla!! So in yo face!!! You’re the dumbass that doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

Unfortunately, my victory was short-lived cuz I realized that I will never see him again to mock and ridicule him for being pretentious.

Even now I still hoped there was someway I could let him know how truly wrong he was. I even imagined going as far as paying and posting ads at the mtr stations with these texts: You were wrong! 龍猫=Chinchillas!

Maybe I will meet “Chinchilla Dude” again someday so that I will be able to pwn him. But that’s another story=]



34°C


schi-zo-phren-ic


It’s been awhile, but I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. I play different hypothetical scenarios in my head everytime x\! tells me something. I can’t help it. Even though those imageries MAY or may not be real, I can’t help but to hypothesize something unpleasant out of it. I would confront x\! but the x\! would tell me I have a too creative of an imagination, and I just feel fucking crazy after wards. There were other times where I’d go mad if I found anything that would even slightly validate my hypothesis (that’s why I could never become a good scientific researcher). Right now, I’m torn between Fact and Intuition. I can’t falsify the “fact,” yet I cannot ignore my intuition either. I am slowly losing sanity. I hope I can stop giving a damn so I won’t end up in-fuckin-sane.

 

 



somewhere I shouldn’t be


A couple of years back I had this dream. I dreamt I was in a very dark place. The only light I remembered seeing were small bursts of dim white lights in sheet-like objects; circling above my head against an eerie green background. And then a girl dressed in white with long dark hair (typical japanese horror movie female ghosts) appeared next to me;  she was looking upward as well. I don’t remember being scared of her. She kept her gaze at the white sheet-like objects, and said to me in cantonese:

“You’re lucky you won’t remember anything when you wake up. But we’re stuck here forever.”

And then I woke up.

To this day I wonder whether it was really a dream, or I had wandered somewhere I shouldn’t be…



theory of multiverse


After watching “Source Code” I tried to explain the theory of Quantum Universes to Matt.  Easily explained, supposed there are 6 universes that run parallel to one another (in googo0plex distance) and never meet, the me living in this very universe now is represented by x. Now supposed I died in universe x, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I have died in universe α, β, γ, δ, or ε. The things that happened in universe x have no net effect on the other universes as they are independent of one another. Pretty simple, right? Matt thought I was crazy-_-;;



残酷の現実


昔の時何時も愛してると言っていました。あの時あたしは本当よかったあなたにあう。だからきめっていました、あなたのそばにいたい。でも今のあなたは変わりました:君は誰ですか?あなたは私の疲れ。去ると言っていました。クズと言っていました。大嫌いと言っていました。消失と言っていました。ずっとずっとあなたを変化するのを待っていました。最終には自分に気付く愛していない。

だからさよなら。一緒に会わないよ。行きます。